Anouchka Talks

Today is my oldest child’s birthday. Several years ago, when she made me an Ummi, I thought motherhood was supposed to look like this: I know better now. “Mom, I drew a picture of you because this is what your face always looks like.” Guess which picture is going on my wall.

Guys, it has been awhile.  What can I say?  I just haven't been feeling inspired.  I know, I know...  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to discover that I am almost never  inspired; you can find evidence of this conclusion by reading any one of my past posts.  Seriously, just pick one.  But really, it has been busy around here.  Since March, we have been homeschooling both kids.  Part of this was mandated, of course, when everything shut down earlier this year.  However, since we were having growing success with taking charge of our kids' education this spring, we decided to run with it and continued with certain elements of school through the summer.  We will be full on homeschooling for the coming year because our public education system has turned into an absolute cluster.  This is going to be such a throwaway year anyway, so yeah.  We're "those people" now.   Who knows?  Maybe this year, my daughter has...

Well, there's no denying it: I've been slacking.  But, to quote myself, " This blog is basically a diary that you are allowed to read; I make entries whenever I feel like it".  So I'm not apologizing. That being said, I'll simply address the giant elephant in the room and answer your burning question.  Where have you been for the past five months?   Slow down, please.  One at a time.  I'll get to it, young Padawan.  Here, in a kind of particular order, is what I have been doing since August... August Habibi and I celebrated our tenth anniversary (early - we were actually married in October) with a trip to Destin, Florida.  We wanted to travel before school started to avoid having to arrange drop-off/pick-up with the grandparents.  Anyway, it was a baller trip.  All we did was sit on the beach and I made Habibi a sand gator as an anniversary gift because I am awesome.  Jammy started kindergarten and I started loathing the Ameri...

Sometimes I like to watch the news.  In a realm of toddler things and kindergarten life, it somehow has provided me with a connection to the world outside.  Despite the tragedies that occur on a daily basis in our country and around the world, there is something about the news that pulls me in.  Most of the stories are either mind-numbingly boring or positively frightful, but at least they are someone else's, and there is intrigue in that. On the other hand, as I mentioned, many of the stories reported on the news are downright tragic:  shootings here, destruction there, devastation in that hemisphere, loss in this one...  I have -at times- had to turn the news off because either the story is not appropriate for the ears of my young coloring partners or because the story is just too damn sad for me to cope with at that given moment.  It is times like these when I fear for the future, when I wonder why, among all of His beautiful creation, did God choos...

Recently, someone very dear to me made some racist remarks. Because of my affection for this person and the value that I place in our relationship, these comments were particularly stinging. This is certainly not the first time this person has said such things, knowing full well that I am of mixed heritage, but most of the time, I choose to ignore these words in an effort to maintain the peace. Some arguments don’t deserve my attention. I know that this is not the first time I have written about my frustrations with race and ethnicity here, but there are a few things that have continued to resurface in recent weeks that have got me feeling all the feelings again. I wish I could clearly articulate these feelings to you, but unless you have experienced bigotry or under-representation yourself, it’s hard to describe. When I was in my mid-twenties, the US Census came around and was getting some mild coverage in the news. On a particular NPR show that I was listening to at the tim...

I like passing judgment.  In fact, I have even been called judgmental on more than one occasion.  It used to bother me, but now I embrace it.  Call me judgmental all you want, just know that I am very openly judging you. Today, however, I am judging a movie: Disney's most recent live-action remake. After some debate with myself, I finally decided to take Jammy to see this movie without first previewing it.  Let me say this: Best. Decision. Ever. Not only did she love it... I LOVED IT!!!   Getting to experience this with my little girl -who is just a smidge younger than I was when the original animated version came out- was nothing short of magical. In a way, I was able to relive that moment of my childhood through my daughter. Remember how much I loved the 2017 remake of Beauty and the Beast ?  Yeah.  Same with this one. Most of my feelings can be summed up right here , by Lincee at i hate green beans .  She reall...

My friend’s mother once gave me some solid advice: A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.  While I do not want to put men down, I find both humor and depth in these words. For this reason, I want to dedicate this post, using it to celebrate the sweetest, most beautiful, badass female I know:  my daughter. Jammy. The Great Jambino. Jammy is five now (almost five and a half, folks) and she is so dope. Lemme tell you, this girl knows who she is, what she’s about, and what she wants, make no mistake. At a birthday party we attended a couple months ago, she absolutely schooled kids twice her age in order to sit by the birthday girl. She wasn’t mean about it, but firm. She refused to sacrifice her seat for the young plebeian who sought to usurp her and I couldn’t help but feel a little pride at watching Il Duce  at work. Another way in which my daughter is far cooler than I? She corresponds with Queen Elizabeth.  That’s right. She’s pen pals with the effin...

I've been in desperate need of a vacation, y'all.  I could give you a list of uninteresting things that I've been up to since Christmas, but I won't bore you with the monotony of my commitments and adult responsibilities because that would be boring as hell.  And as I always tell my children... There have been a great deal of post beginnings on my mind of late, but I have been short on motivation these days.  Maybe this is why I have been publishing those "inspiring"  Mindfulness Bitches  posts.  (Relax, I have plenty more of those coming.)  But not being able to form a coherent thought has never stopped me from writing before, so I thought I'd throw some ideas at you in a sort of disassociative manner.  Think of it as a conglomeration of my half-formed thoughts or as a type of word vomit...a  Brain Barf,  if you will.  I can promise you they will be as lacking in direction and organization as the rest of this blog. As ...

Happy Holla-days, y'all! I hope you had a meaningful Thanksgiving last month, and are on your way to an even better Christmas and a  próspero año .  I don't know what you celebrate, but I hope you enjoy it. Last month brought a few new experiences to the Anouchka household.  To start, back in October, I was summoned for jury duty .  What an interesting -and mind-numbing- experience!  I was to report to the city's courthouse on the Monday morning following the Thanksgiving weekend, convinced that I was going to be asked to determine whether an eccentric old man was Santa Claus, as he claimed to be .  As it turned out, there were two cases being tried at that time: one civil, one criminal.  I was among the pool of thirty jurors for the criminal case. About two years ago, Habibi served on a jury for a criminal case.  Prior to my report date, I had questioned him about the process and what to expect.  I had some kind of idea as to how the ...

Unless you live under a rock or are not living in the United States (two things that are not   mutually exclusive...), you know that Thanksgiving is this week.  This is a time that we, as Americans, remember the early days of our country when two very different people groups gathered together to celebrate surviving a long boat trip and some really shitty weather.  Well, there's more to the story, but that's the CliffsNotes version. Shortly after Ribbers joined our family in October 2016, I wrote a little Thanksgiving message that I posted on Facebook.  Two years later, my feelings remain the same.  The circumstances are different (i.e. We no longer use bottles, Jammy isn't preparing for her first year of pre-school, etc.), but the sentiment hasn't changed.  So, here is a somewhat premature " Thanksgiving Throwback Thursday" entry.  I hope it means something to you. **Warbly time travel music to take us back to November 2016** This Thank...

It snowed in my town this morning.  It was a beautiful, slightly dangerous, and incredibly inconvenient sort of snow that peaked during the morning commute, but it was gorgeous from the comfort of my warm, cozy living room.  Once the morning warmed up a bit (and the heaviest of the snow ceased to fall), the kids and I went out for a snowy romp in our backyard.  They were so eager to wear their secondhand snow pants, and break in their brand new boots.  Jammy had been asking me all summer long when she was going to get to build a snowman, so we were ready for this weather.  In the bustle to get everyone all bundled up to go play in the snow, I forgot to grab their little snow shovel and sled to play with, but they didn't need them. They were too busy making snow angels, tasting the snow, and sliding -sans sled- down the little hill behind our home.  Who needs a sled when you have a perfectly good butt?  #trailertrashtoboggan We didn't last long becau...

At first glance, I would consider myself a pretty unassuming person.  I'm somewhere between 5'0 and 5'2 (depending on the day), my features aren't particularly striking, I have a petite build, and I'm usually lugging one or two kids around.  I have been known to wear pearls, Tom's, cardigans, and I would consider my North Face jacket one of my most used articles of clothing. Yeah.  I've got swagger. However, beneath the surface lies a freak flag, waiting to be flown.  I was out to dinner with my dad last month at some new(ish) hipster place in my hometown's equivalent to Brooklyn and, between bites of artisan pizza and a divine  salad laced with loads of fennel, I grooved to some of the greatest hip hop/rap hits of my youth, blaring over the restaurant's sound system.  It was so nostalgic and I loved it.  I can't help myself.  I'm a sucker for thug life. Any stay-at-home parent knows that you need a few tricks up your sleeve to keep...