Well, there's no denying it: I've been slacking. But, to quote myself, "This blog is basically a diary that you are allowed to read; I make entries whenever I feel like it". So I'm not apologizing.
That being said, I'll simply address the giant elephant in the room and answer your burning question. Where have you been for the past five months? Slow down, please. One at a time. I'll get to it, young Padawan. Here, in a kind of particular order, is what I have been doing since August...
August
Habibi and I celebrated our tenth anniversary (early - we were actually married in October) with a trip to Destin, Florida. We wanted to travel before school started to avoid having to arrange drop-off/pick-up with the grandparents. Anyway, it was a baller trip. All we did was sit on the beach and I made Habibi a sand gator as an anniversary gift because I am awesome. Jammy started kindergarten and I started loathing the American school system. Now, it is among my top 20 things to complain about. (Shut up, judgy. I'm a complainer. Deal with it.) I took a free webinar and enrolled in a Core-Based Yoga Program like a friggin' Stepford Wife. I'm only about four months behind on what was meant to be a two-month program...so yeah, I've been dominating.
September
My grandma celebrated her 95th birthday like a boss, my dad added another candle to his cake, I saw the Downton Abbey movie (most of which was quite forgettable - that show tanked after Sybil died and that twatopotamus Edith kidnapped Marigold and got away with it), and I bitched some more about public school. I saw It: Chapter Two in the theater by myself and SCREAMED like a little girl. I had forgotten that [EDITED FOR SPOILERS] and [SERIOUSLY, GO READ THE DAMN BOOK!], but I deeply appreciated that, for the film versions, they eliminated the scenes where Henry Bowers (the town bully) basically tortures and mutilates stray animals - easily the most disturbing thing I have ever read. Eight or nine years after reading the novel, I can honestly say that that section of the book still haunts me. Stephen King, you talented asshole, I will never forgive you for that. Nevertheless, the movies were beautifully cast, in my opinion, and captured the essence of the novel. If you haven't read it, it is a scary story; but it's less of a horror story and more of a coming-of-age story. Think Stand By Me or Now and Then, but with an evil, murdery clown. Best part? I've gotten my kids to say, "we all float down here" on numerous occasions. Non-movie related, we went to the pumpkin patch a couple of times and did other fall things.
October
Apple picking, pumpkin carving, cider drinking, Halloween movie watching...all the great fall things happen in my favorite month. Habibi and I celebrated our actual tenth anniversary: TINFINITY. Technically, Birthday Season: Part Deux kicked off in my family in August with B's birthday. (My family's birthdays come in waves. Part Un is when EVERYONE HAS A BIRTHDAY IN MAY; Part Deux is when EVERYONE ELSE HAS BIRTHDAYS BETWEEN AUGUST AND JANUARY IN BETWEEN EVERY MAJOR AMERICAN HOLIDAY.) But I digress, I am only the head honcho starting in October with Ribbers's extravaganza, so let's start with that. He turned three this past fall and we celebrated with a rocket ship themed party. It was adorable. The kids had NASA badges and uniforms, we decorated the living room to look like outer space, and I made him a cake that looked like a rocket ship blasting off. I was proud of this one. This was immediately followed by parent-teacher conferences and Halloween.
November
This month began with the Pocahontas watch party that B and I hold annually. What better way to prematurely celebrate Thanksgiving than by watching a movie that exploits a legend based on a single unreliable and self-promoting source (John Smith himself!) that desecrates actual historical figures (Pocahontas/Matoaka, questionably Governor Ratcliffe) while glorifying actual monsters (John Smith, Powhatan). Research the real story. It's pretty grim, and nothing like the legend we all know. Honestly, I wish that the corny love story were actually true. Anyway, we began our Christmas celebrations with an annual tree lighting that takes place near our home, had (immediate) family photos taken, traveled to visit Habibi's family, celebrated Habibi's birthday (three times), celebrated Thanksgiving, attended two more civic Christmas celebrations/tree lightings, and saw Frozen 2.
December
Semi-annual Anouchka-Family-Weekend Extravaganza, multiple seasonal events, a funeral, eight family Christmases (including another trip to visit Habibi's family), out of town guests, play dates, three more family birthdays, Star Wars, another round of family photos (extended family this time), celebrated the New Year, and (wait for it)...
January
Celebrated New Year's Day, immediately began preparations for Jammy's sixth birthday (and subsequent party, her first one that includes more than just family), went back to school, hosted out of town company and...
BOOM! Here we are.
I haven't been ignoring you. It's just that I've been too busy financing my new addiction to Percocet. I'll be back soon with other stuff, but bye for now.
That being said, I'll simply address the giant elephant in the room and answer your burning question. Where have you been for the past five months? Slow down, please. One at a time. I'll get to it, young Padawan. Here, in a kind of particular order, is what I have been doing since August...
August
Habibi and I celebrated our tenth anniversary (early - we were actually married in October) with a trip to Destin, Florida. We wanted to travel before school started to avoid having to arrange drop-off/pick-up with the grandparents. Anyway, it was a baller trip. All we did was sit on the beach and I made Habibi a sand gator as an anniversary gift because I am awesome. Jammy started kindergarten and I started loathing the American school system. Now, it is among my top 20 things to complain about. (Shut up, judgy. I'm a complainer. Deal with it.) I took a free webinar and enrolled in a Core-Based Yoga Program like a friggin' Stepford Wife. I'm only about four months behind on what was meant to be a two-month program...so yeah, I've been dominating.
September
My grandma celebrated her 95th birthday like a boss, my dad added another candle to his cake, I saw the Downton Abbey movie (most of which was quite forgettable - that show tanked after Sybil died and that twatopotamus Edith kidnapped Marigold and got away with it), and I bitched some more about public school. I saw It: Chapter Two in the theater by myself and SCREAMED like a little girl. I had forgotten that [EDITED FOR SPOILERS] and [SERIOUSLY, GO READ THE DAMN BOOK!], but I deeply appreciated that, for the film versions, they eliminated the scenes where Henry Bowers (the town bully) basically tortures and mutilates stray animals - easily the most disturbing thing I have ever read. Eight or nine years after reading the novel, I can honestly say that that section of the book still haunts me. Stephen King, you talented asshole, I will never forgive you for that. Nevertheless, the movies were beautifully cast, in my opinion, and captured the essence of the novel. If you haven't read it, it is a scary story; but it's less of a horror story and more of a coming-of-age story. Think Stand By Me or Now and Then, but with an evil, murdery clown. Best part? I've gotten my kids to say, "we all float down here" on numerous occasions. Non-movie related, we went to the pumpkin patch a couple of times and did other fall things.
October
Apple picking, pumpkin carving, cider drinking, Halloween movie watching...all the great fall things happen in my favorite month. Habibi and I celebrated our actual tenth anniversary: TINFINITY. Technically, Birthday Season: Part Deux kicked off in my family in August with B's birthday. (My family's birthdays come in waves. Part Un is when EVERYONE HAS A BIRTHDAY IN MAY; Part Deux is when EVERYONE ELSE HAS BIRTHDAYS BETWEEN AUGUST AND JANUARY IN BETWEEN EVERY MAJOR AMERICAN HOLIDAY.) But I digress, I am only the head honcho starting in October with Ribbers's extravaganza, so let's start with that. He turned three this past fall and we celebrated with a rocket ship themed party. It was adorable. The kids had NASA badges and uniforms, we decorated the living room to look like outer space, and I made him a cake that looked like a rocket ship blasting off. I was proud of this one. This was immediately followed by parent-teacher conferences and Halloween.
November
This month began with the Pocahontas watch party that B and I hold annually. What better way to prematurely celebrate Thanksgiving than by watching a movie that exploits a legend based on a single unreliable and self-promoting source (John Smith himself!) that desecrates actual historical figures (Pocahontas/Matoaka, questionably Governor Ratcliffe) while glorifying actual monsters (John Smith, Powhatan). Research the real story. It's pretty grim, and nothing like the legend we all know. Honestly, I wish that the corny love story were actually true. Anyway, we began our Christmas celebrations with an annual tree lighting that takes place near our home, had (immediate) family photos taken, traveled to visit Habibi's family, celebrated Habibi's birthday (three times), celebrated Thanksgiving, attended two more civic Christmas celebrations/tree lightings, and saw Frozen 2.
December
Semi-annual Anouchka-Family-Weekend Extravaganza, multiple seasonal events, a funeral, eight family Christmases (including another trip to visit Habibi's family), out of town guests, play dates, three more family birthdays, Star Wars, another round of family photos (extended family this time), celebrated the New Year, and (wait for it)...
January
Celebrated New Year's Day, immediately began preparations for Jammy's sixth birthday (and subsequent party, her first one that includes more than just family), went back to school, hosted out of town company and...
BOOM! Here we are.
I haven't been ignoring you. It's just that I've been too busy financing my new addiction to Percocet. I'll be back soon with other stuff, but bye for now.
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