Navigating Summer, School, and COVID-19

Guys, it has been awhile.  What can I say?  I just haven't been feeling inspired.  I know, I know...  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to discover that I am almost never inspired; you can find evidence of this conclusion by reading any one of my past posts.  Seriously, just pick one.  But really, it has been busy around here.  Since March, we have been homeschooling both kids.  Part of this was mandated, of course, when everything shut down earlier this year.  However, since we were having growing success with taking charge of our kids' education this spring, we decided to run with it and continued with certain elements of school through the summer.  We will be full on homeschooling for the coming year because our public education system has turned into an absolute cluster.  This is going to be such a throwaway year anyway, so yeah.  We're "those people" now.  

Who knows?  Maybe this year, my daughter has already accomplished more than she would have in her regular classroom.  My three year old son is learning to read, and has become quite accomplished at it for his age.  Both kids are now familiar with ancient world cultures (like the Egyptians, the Sumerians, and the Akkadians), writing forms such as hieroglyphs and cuneiform, polymers and elastic energy, several theories and practices using optical illusions, the creation of monuments like Stonehenge and the pyramids of Giza, life in early colonial America, the Revolutionary War, France's subsequent revolution (including the storming of the Bastille), the importance of static stretching post workout when your muscles are warm and pliable and how to best optimize flexibility in your hamstrings, new French vocabulary, and I could keep going...  The greatest thing is that we have not once had to memorize fact sheets, nor have I had to force learning on them through endless hours of monotony.  It has been quite the opposite, in fact!  We have thoroughly enjoyed learning through play, stories, lots of hands-on activities, and experiences.  I guess my first grader really is missing out on her school issued iPad this year.  What an asset.  Maybe I'll have to make up for lost knowledge by showing her more videos of cats on the internet.

Do you want to know the real reason we were convinced to try homeschooling?  Well, starting in March, national attention was finally given to a worldwide problem.  Have you heard of the "Coronavirus"?  I know.  It's sort of a subversive topic, so you probably have only read about it in publications that are under the radar, so to speak.  Some people call it COVID-19, but it's the same thing.

So, once this Coronavirus business started, all of the infallible scientists in the medical community started making recommendations.  It also started getting coverage -or no coverage, in some cases- by our nation's very impartial media outlets.  Since this all began, I have been compiling all of the data I have seen, heard, and read.  I will share what I have collated here with you.  I do this for free.  Please note that I have not made up one.single.thing. you see listed below.  Not one.  (Well, maybe one.)  As I mentioned, I have not been inspired.  I have simply compiled a list of information that has come from our present society.

Things I have learned from the CDC, the news, and all the other online COVID-19 experts in 2020:

1. COVID-19 is extremely dangerous.  We will all either get it, or not get it.
2. COVID-19 is no worse than a cold.  Some people will die from it.
3. Babies and small children cannot become infected, nor can they pass it along to others.  Well, they probably cannot become infected.  No one will let us test the science on their babies and children, so we really cannot pinpoint any conclusive data.  Kids have to wear masks at school in case they get Coronavirus and die.  But they can't get it.  And they can't pass it along to school staff, so school is back to normal in August.  Fuuuuuck, I hope kids can't get it.
4. If old people get it, they will definitely die, so stay far away from them so they don't get it from you.  Or your kids.  (See #3.)
5. If Republicans don't talk about it on Fox News, it might disappear.
6. If Democrats blame Donald Trump...oh nevermind!  SAVE YOURSELVES!!! THIS IS THE APOCALYPSE!!!  Buy all the toilet paper and the beans at the store!!!!
7. Black people are more susceptible to it than white people.  Much like law enforcement, this virus has learned to profile.  If you are black and not wearing your mask in America, you will get Coronavirus and die.  Or maybe you won't.  Either way, one of these two things will happen to you.
8. If you test positive for COVID-19, the government will probably take away your kids.
9. Even if your local hospital doesn't have an ICU, the ICU at your local hospital will be at capacity with COVID cases.
10. If you say "Coronavirus" three times in front of a mirror on the stroke of midnight, a representative from the CDC will come murder you in your sleep.
11. Stay away from Asian people, but don't be racist about it.  Profiling is mean.
12. We are all going to die either from Coronavirus, or from another thing.
13. It is our Constitutional right to not wear a mask.  The government can't make me wear one...but Starbucks can.  
14. Don't freak out about Coronavirus.  Just wear a mask over your face whenever you leave your house, wash your hands, carry hand sanitizer, designate a room in your house as a decontamination zone, burn all of your clothes that you wear outside your home, stay six feet away from people, don't cough, sneeze, or look at anyone, and purchase your own hazmat gear so you don't have to call a rental.
15. Dr. Fauci is very educated and knows what he is doing, so we should follow his advice.  He is also indisputably the anti-Christ.
16. If you get Coronavirus once, you can't get it a second time.  Remember the chicken pox?  Well, it's just like that, except that you can get it again.

I hope this list of information from professional sources helps you to sort out your Coronavirus needs as we prepare for back-to-school.  Honestly, aside from all of the sickness, death, and polarity associated with this disease, I have rather enjoyed the quarantine.  If ever I was counter-cultural in my life, boy this would be my moment.  I was social distancing before it was cool.  For a recluse an introvert like me, not having to concoct an excuse to stay in more has been heaven.  

Be healthy.  Be smart.  And for heaven's sake, wash your damn hands.