Anouchka Talks

Today is my oldest child’s birthday. Several years ago, when she made me an Ummi, I thought motherhood was supposed to look like this: I know better now. “Mom, I drew a picture of you because this is what your face always looks like.” Guess which picture is going on my wall.

 Merry Christmas, mammajammas.  Once again, I haven't been keeping up with writing...or any sort of self-enrichment beyond the grind of working my ass off in our home "gym" to maintain this mediocre bod.  If you must know, I haven't spoken to you in awhile because I have been quite busy drinking and watching Netflix homeschooling. I like to call it, homey-schooling,  because our little School for Gifted Youngsters is far more ghetto than all of the beautiful, keepin'-it-tight-full-time-blogging-and-homeschooling-seven-children hos on the internet would have you believe their lives really are.  You know who they are; their hair still looks great and they're always on time and you hate them even though you KNOW they frontin'.  They think that "lol" is a word and, even though you're far more intelligent than they are, they are still making quadruple your family's income despite the combined myriad of degrees you share with your spouse. Sta...

Guys, it has been awhile.  What can I say?  I just haven't been feeling inspired.  I know, I know...  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to discover that I am almost never  inspired; you can find evidence of this conclusion by reading any one of my past posts.  Seriously, just pick one.  But really, it has been busy around here.  Since March, we have been homeschooling both kids.  Part of this was mandated, of course, when everything shut down earlier this year.  However, since we were having growing success with taking charge of our kids' education this spring, we decided to run with it and continued with certain elements of school through the summer.  We will be full on homeschooling for the coming year because our public education system has turned into an absolute cluster.  This is going to be such a throwaway year anyway, so yeah.  We're "those people" now.   Who knows?  Maybe this year, my daughter has...

As the month of March - Women's History Month - comes to a close, I find myself wondering in what ways I have been  womanly  recently.  Of course, in order to answer that question, we would first need to define what it means to be "womanly", and that is much easier said than done.  Most women would probably not agree on the definition of this term.  I think, however, that we can all agree that having a uterus ain't for pussies.  (Get the double entendre?  You should.  It was not subtle.)  As women, w e have far more freedoms and opportunities than ever before, but there is a lot more pressure on us to "have it all".  I know I have commented on this before and I don't anticipate stopping any time soon...so contend with that or quit reading.  As I try to navigate womanhood myself, I also have a daughter to teach.  I know that she is watching me as I struggle to keep it tight (literally and metaphorically), and I want her to see...

"Forgiveness is an act of consciousness." - Yogi Tea Bag The Holy Family as part of the elaborate Creche Notre Dame de Paris (cathedral) in Paris, France mindfulness, bitches: quotes and images that remind me of the important things...with just the right amount of profanity to keep it from getting sappy

My neighbor sent me this last night: In five years, J.Lo will be getting discounts at restaurants and movie theaters because she will be considered a senior citizen.  And she will still look like that.   YOU GUYS I SAID J.LO IS ALMOST A SENIOR CITIZEN.  SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE NOT EVEN LISTENING. Meanwhile, I look more and more like this every day: My friend MoMo was invited to play pool with a friend of hers today.  She told me about it, which is free license for me to post it here. MoMo (and her friend): Anouchka: In her friend's defense, he has only been in the U.S. for about 18 months and apparently thought that an "Italian-American" would be a rare and exotic treat. I'm been pestering Habibi lately to spoil me and praise me and tell me I'm a rare and divine treasure more often, but it hasn't been working.  I'll send him text messages periodically, featuring my face,  looking putrid fr...

"Happiness is actually an art of living, which is in us." - Yogi Tea Bag A street artist, the day after Saint Patrick's Day in Dublin, Ireland mindfulness, bitches: quotes and images that remind me of the important things...with just the right amount of profanity to keep it from getting sappy

When Habibi and I moved to our current home with Jammy and the kitties in 2014, one of the first things we realized was that we had neighbors.  Yes, I'm aware that I am stating the obvious, but let me clarify: we had unusual neighbors.  To avoid belaboring the point (too late), there is a colony of feral cats that lives behind our home, down the back alley a short distance, and up inside of a man-made rock face.  Over the past few years, we have gotten to know the residents of Kitty Mountain (as we have lovingly christened it) without ever actually getting near them; they are 100% feral and will NOT approach a human.  They do, however, know at what time one of my neighbors -The Cat Whisperer- will come out to feed them.  At 5 pm sharp , they are outside his door. New litters have been born and it is always exciting to see five or so new, adorable, little kittens emerge.  Among these furry neighbors have been Outside Dave, Donut, Mama Ramos, Hopsco...

Well, there's no denying it: I've been slacking.  But, to quote myself, " This blog is basically a diary that you are allowed to read; I make entries whenever I feel like it".  So I'm not apologizing. That being said, I'll simply address the giant elephant in the room and answer your burning question.  Where have you been for the past five months?   Slow down, please.  One at a time.  I'll get to it, young Padawan.  Here, in a kind of particular order, is what I have been doing since August... August Habibi and I celebrated our tenth anniversary (early - we were actually married in October) with a trip to Destin, Florida.  We wanted to travel before school started to avoid having to arrange drop-off/pick-up with the grandparents.  Anyway, it was a baller trip.  All we did was sit on the beach and I made Habibi a sand gator as an anniversary gift because I am awesome.  Jammy started kindergarten and I started loathing the Ameri...

Sometimes I like to watch the news.  In a realm of toddler things and kindergarten life, it somehow has provided me with a connection to the world outside.  Despite the tragedies that occur on a daily basis in our country and around the world, there is something about the news that pulls me in.  Most of the stories are either mind-numbingly boring or positively frightful, but at least they are someone else's, and there is intrigue in that. On the other hand, as I mentioned, many of the stories reported on the news are downright tragic:  shootings here, destruction there, devastation in that hemisphere, loss in this one...  I have -at times- had to turn the news off because either the story is not appropriate for the ears of my young coloring partners or because the story is just too damn sad for me to cope with at that given moment.  It is times like these when I fear for the future, when I wonder why, among all of His beautiful creation, did God choos...

Recently, someone very dear to me made some racist remarks. Because of my affection for this person and the value that I place in our relationship, these comments were particularly stinging. This is certainly not the first time this person has said such things, knowing full well that I am of mixed heritage, but most of the time, I choose to ignore these words in an effort to maintain the peace. Some arguments don’t deserve my attention. I know that this is not the first time I have written about my frustrations with race and ethnicity here, but there are a few things that have continued to resurface in recent weeks that have got me feeling all the feelings again. I wish I could clearly articulate these feelings to you, but unless you have experienced bigotry or under-representation yourself, it’s hard to describe. When I was in my mid-twenties, the US Census came around and was getting some mild coverage in the news. On a particular NPR show that I was listening to at the tim...

"Live righteously and love everyone; you will build up around you an aura of light and love." -Yogi Tea Bag Silverthorne, Colorado, USA mindfulness, bitches: quotes and images that remind me of the important things...with just the right amount of profanity to keep it from getting sappy

I like passing judgment.  In fact, I have even been called judgmental on more than one occasion.  It used to bother me, but now I embrace it.  Call me judgmental all you want, just know that I am very openly judging you. Today, however, I am judging a movie: Disney's most recent live-action remake. After some debate with myself, I finally decided to take Jammy to see this movie without first previewing it.  Let me say this: Best. Decision. Ever. Not only did she love it... I LOVED IT!!!   Getting to experience this with my little girl -who is just a smidge younger than I was when the original animated version came out- was nothing short of magical. In a way, I was able to relive that moment of my childhood through my daughter. Remember how much I loved the 2017 remake of Beauty and the Beast ?  Yeah.  Same with this one. Most of my feelings can be summed up right here , by Lincee at i hate green beans .  She reall...