Finding peace under pressure

Do you ever get that feeling where everyone needs everything from you at every moment?  If you answered yes, you are probably a parent (read: mom).  Today found me at my worst in one such moment.  Most of the time, it is just a piling up of 100 different benign things on your to-do list that, compounded together, are so overwhelming that you find yourself wondering what a personal assistant would cost you.  After all, none of it is anyone's fault...but your own.  The people "hounding" you are not, in fact, hounding you.  They are just unknowingly reminding you all at the same time.  At least if you had an assistant, the buck would come to rest at his/her door rather than at your own.  Let me paint a picture for you.

My spirit animal

Today you are taking your kitties to the vet for their annual check-up. (Need #1: Lure kitties out from their hiding places, even if it means Hulking up and moving the entire damn bed.)  Your pre-schooler wants to come and see what the vet does, and you see this as a great opportunity for her to learn about how (1) everyone needs to see the doctor and (2) what animal care involves.  (Need #2: After rounding up cats, bundle up kid in winter coat/boots to trudge to the car, all in the name of education and personal enrichment.)  

A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion in it crushes the spirit. (Proverbs 15:4)

As you are about to leave, you get a text from your husband asking you to take a picture of a check so he can set up the direct deposit stuff for his new job.  (Need #3: Photograph and text a picture of a check.) You finally get to the car (after several trips) and drive to the clinic.  Through some creative maneuvering, you get everyone safely inside and checked in.  You see the vet and he gives you a quote on what your visit and various tests are going to cost you.  (Need #4: Another year with the same hours at work to make ends meet, even though you have been hoping to cut back every year for the past two years.)  

Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world.
(Philippians 2: 14-15)

Vet takes first cat to the back room for her blood draw and rabies vaccine, causing your child to erupt in a tearful tantrum because she had been so excited about seeing the kitties get their shots. (Need #5: Run interference and console kid, while trying to maintain dignity.)  Vet returns, gets the second cat.  Repeat of previous episode.  (Need #6: Repeat Need #5.)  

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

Finish exam and get cats back in carriers.  Tell daughter no fewer than four times to put her coat on.  (Need #7: Get daughter's coat on without losing my temper.  How the *bleep* is this even on this list?)  

A fool is quick tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted. (Proverbs 12:16)

Check out and cough up half of my next paycheck for vet visit.  Get home, see text message from adoption agency, asking if I received an email earlier this month regarding the upcoming banquet at which Habibi and I agreed to share our adoption success story.  (Need #8: Check email, respond to it, and reply to text message.)  Take three trips to get kid, cats, miscellaneous into the house where daughter refuses to help pick up toys and get ready to go to her grandma's house, but immediately starts asking about wearing her kitty costume.  Fight a losing battle and, defeated, go upstairs to get the damn costume.  (Need #9: Remind self that the extra laundry isn't the issue, and that it's OK to concede sometimes.)  

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:31-32)

Proceed in snapping at people (and ignoring your son who is hanging all over you) because it's Day 2 of Shark Week and you're pissed about life and everyone is annoying you because this is supposed to be your day off and it's half over and all you have done is take care of other people's shit.  (Need #10: Deep breaths, tampons, chocolate, bread.)  

My dear brothers and sisters, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.  Your anger can never make things right in God's sight. (James 1:19-20)

All you wanted to do today was drink tea and watch BBC shows in the dark with your angry kitties.  Now, it's after 12:00 and you haven't worked out, showered, run any personal errands, or even begun to tackle this ever growing to-do list.  Oh, and Habibi will be out late tonight.  And you get to attend an (unpaid) work meeting on Sunday afternoon, so no free time then.

Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.  Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is.
(Romans 12:2)

Ugh.  Did you read all that?  Are you a masochist?  I don't even like hanging out with me when I get my bitch and moan on, because I HAVE GOT IT SO GOOOOOOOOD!!!!!  Seriously.  Listen to (well, read) this:

1. My kitties went to the vet today and appear fine.  We are waiting on some blood work, but we have access to a great clinic for them.  (My friend who is living in Africa adopted a street kitty who recently died because she ate a poisonous rat.  It was very sad and largely due to the fact that there are no veterinarians where she lives.)
2. My precious daughter loves her kitties and is interested in their well-being.  I'm doing something right.
3. Habibi has a new job where he has more room for growth (personal, professional, financial...).  He is very happy with this, and I am happy for him.  And he gets a social evening with his new co-workers tonight.  Goodness knows he needs a night to relax in an adult environment.  (As in non-child environment, that is...not the pervy way.  Gross.)
4. I have a job that I genuinely love.  Sure, it annoys me sometimes, and I'd like to have my Saturdays back so I can enjoy lazy weekends with my family, but at least I'm able to contribute to our financial security in some capacity.  Plus, I get to teach French, which I love to do.
5. I have a strong-willed daughter who is headstrong and independent.  It's frustrating for me now, but I think this will make her a strong woman some day.  Look out world, she ain't afraid of you.
6. We have the means to afford weather appropriate clothing for ourselves and our kids.
7. We have a successful adoption story!!!

When I remind myself of the verses upon which I have been meditating recently (NLT and NASB translations, for any nerds out there), I feel like a dumb ol' dummy.  Dernit, Proverbs!  Foiled again!  But for real, it helps me keep life in perspective, because none of my complaints are eternal.  Or even mortally important.

You know who probably gets that feeling where everyone needs everything at every moment?  God.