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Direction and Reflection

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I'm bored.  I've been scouring the internet lately, hoping to find a fun, inspiring, and humorous blog to follow...to no avail.  This endless search got me thinking, however, about what kind of blog I want to follow.  I'm so over cooking blogs that I could barf, fitness blogs are for people who love to post photos of themselves in bikinis on social media, and parenting blogs just piss me off because I (insecurely) feel that the authors are just women with a superiority/inferiority (take your pick) complex who are trying to validate themselves by making the rest of us who are openly drowning under the misnomer of "parenting" feel like worthless failures.  Lifestyle and minimalist blogs annoy me because No, I don't need your advice on how to de-clutter or simplify or re-purpose shitty ass wood or improve my hair or whatever.  I am perfectly capable of fucking up on my own without you bringing attention to it, thank you very much.  At the end of the day, I think I want to find a kindred spirit, someone whose worldview and platform is similar to my own, someone who loves Jesus, loves her kids (if she has any), prefers animals to humans, and has the mouth of a sailor.  No, we don't have to agree on every issue, but I want to find someone who writes in such a way that doesn't make me want to punch them in the throat.  In short, I want to relate to someone's writing.

All this thinking (something I clearly do not do often) got me questioning my own space here.  Is this desire to relate the reason that I write?  Probably.  What kind of blog is Anouchka Talks?  I do not seek to inspire because I find that antithetical in and of itself.  I even state that this blog is purely therapeutic for me; it's a diary that I allow you to read.  Ultimately, this space is entirely narcissistic: for me, about me, by me.  Nevertheless, I do hope that the people who read my words find them helpful in some way.  Maybe in a demented, schadenfreude, "well at least I'm not her" way, but if that helps, then I'm glad.  At the very least, I hope I amuse a few of you.

Still, with no sense of direction, it's hard to define this here space.  I don't want to pigeon hole myself, but I've decided all the same to see if I could really pinpoint the type of person who would subject themselves to my torture writing.  Don't try to stop me.  Because I'm doing it anyway.  So, here are a few categories.  Does Anouchka Talks fit into any of them?

Cooking?  Hell to the no.  I've got some recipes, but damn!  That is not my favorite. 

Parenting?

Homemaking?  Only a fool would take my advice.  I'm a renter in my thirties, using secondhand furniture while my son defiantly pees on the same shitty carpet that is covered in patches of duct tape from where my bitchier cat destroys it while my other cat (who suffers from severe anxiety and UTIs) regularly pees by my bed and poops next to her litter box and I just eat copious amounts of chocolate to cope...

Beauty?  BAH!  My hair regimen consists of me nagging Habibi to yank out the grey hairs I can't see in the back.  As for skin care, I mainly just bitch about how even the prescription strength deodorant does nothing.

DIY?  Let me put it this way.  In another life (my much younger years), I tried crafting.  I set about trying to decorate a box of sex toys to make it (the box) look lovely...you know, like a bluff.  Said box now resides in a landfill somewhere.  It looked like something a pre-teen camper would have made during arts and crafts.  And pre-teen campers shouldn't know about the things in that box.

Travel?  Don't I wish.

Fitness?  Yes, if endless hours of cardio and lifting to achieve maximum mediocrity count.

In summation, I think I'll be searching for a blog to follow for awhile yet.  Perhaps, in the meantime, I can achieve some sense of direction here.  

For now, Ima just keep on bein' me.
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