Hulk is a pretty good sleeper. She typically goes anywhere from five to eight hours a night before waking up for a midnight snack, a snuggle and going back to bed in her crib. It wasn't always this way (as any parent of a newborn can recall), but with lots of dedicated effort, patience, and love, we made it to this point.
Spending every day for the past three months with my little nugget has brought me two things: great joy and unending headaches (more metaphorical, although there is the occasional literal headache). Just now, I had to let her fuss herself to sleep for a nap (note that she did not cry it out - those were not sobs, but rather barks of protest) but I will be rewarded with the most beautiful grin when it is time for her to wake up.
Perhaps one of the most frustrating lessons I have learned in becoming an Ummi is the crisis of the postpartum body. I have already whined and moaned about my deformed midsection so I won't continue to bore you with that but, when I look around at other postpartum mamas, I see an array of transformation. Hollywood, of course, doesn't count; we all know that Heidi Klum is just one step short of a Disney princess with her blondie blonde hair, tiny waist and enormous eyes. However, I cannot help but notice all of the "inspirational" blogs on Pinterest that show before and after pictures of new moms who, by three months postpartum, "weigh less than before" they were pregnant.
Does anyone else find it "inspirational" when these dumb broads (who consistently use "their/there/they're" incorrectly in their writing) post photos of themselves and say "and I know it isn't genetic because their are all sorts of body types in my family"? As if having multiple body types in one family means that you couldn't possibly have inherited one of the "good" ones...
What about the wife of the surgeon who says that she lost an additional umpteen pounds "just by eating clean and doing Cross Fit"? I've tried eating clean. Do you know how that left me feeling? Hungry. That is how.
Oh, and let's not forget the postpartum liar who claims that she never overeats because she doesn't get pleasure from food. Really? What type of person doesn't find joy in eating? I'll give you nerds the answer, and I tell you this for free: a Cylon.
Sure, if it weren't for my overzealous intestines widening my equator, my silhouette might somewhat resemble my pre-pregnancy body. Still, at three months out, I'm hanging on to about nine additional pounds, a collection of battle scars, and cans that make me feel like a slut in everything I wear. While my height/weight combination has left me with a normal, middle-of-the-road BMI, I don't have the tone that I had previously. I know that with time, some of these things will be rectified, but I'm not expecting to suddenly become a runway model. (Alas, I would have to grow about a foot taller and get a whole new face if that were my goal.)
So what about these self-involved bloggers who can't get enough pictures of themselves in their skivvies all over the internet? I might not have a fair answer for that one, but I'll tell you this: I'm proud of myself for being able to operate in the English language with relative ease.
So their.*
*Yes, I know. ;)
Spending every day for the past three months with my little nugget has brought me two things: great joy and unending headaches (more metaphorical, although there is the occasional literal headache). Just now, I had to let her fuss herself to sleep for a nap (note that she did not cry it out - those were not sobs, but rather barks of protest) but I will be rewarded with the most beautiful grin when it is time for her to wake up.
Perhaps one of the most frustrating lessons I have learned in becoming an Ummi is the crisis of the postpartum body. I have already whined and moaned about my deformed midsection so I won't continue to bore you with that but, when I look around at other postpartum mamas, I see an array of transformation. Hollywood, of course, doesn't count; we all know that Heidi Klum is just one step short of a Disney princess with her blondie blonde hair, tiny waist and enormous eyes. However, I cannot help but notice all of the "inspirational" blogs on Pinterest that show before and after pictures of new moms who, by three months postpartum, "weigh less than before" they were pregnant.
Does anyone else find it "inspirational" when these dumb broads (who consistently use "their/there/they're" incorrectly in their writing) post photos of themselves and say "and I know it isn't genetic because their are all sorts of body types in my family"? As if having multiple body types in one family means that you couldn't possibly have inherited one of the "good" ones...
What about the wife of the surgeon who says that she lost an additional umpteen pounds "just by eating clean and doing Cross Fit"? I've tried eating clean. Do you know how that left me feeling? Hungry. That is how.
Oh, and let's not forget the postpartum liar who claims that she never overeats because she doesn't get pleasure from food. Really? What type of person doesn't find joy in eating? I'll give you nerds the answer, and I tell you this for free: a Cylon.
Sure, if it weren't for my overzealous intestines widening my equator, my silhouette might somewhat resemble my pre-pregnancy body. Still, at three months out, I'm hanging on to about nine additional pounds, a collection of battle scars, and cans that make me feel like a slut in everything I wear. While my height/weight combination has left me with a normal, middle-of-the-road BMI, I don't have the tone that I had previously. I know that with time, some of these things will be rectified, but I'm not expecting to suddenly become a runway model. (Alas, I would have to grow about a foot taller and get a whole new face if that were my goal.)
So what about these self-involved bloggers who can't get enough pictures of themselves in their skivvies all over the internet? I might not have a fair answer for that one, but I'll tell you this: I'm proud of myself for being able to operate in the English language with relative ease.
So their.*
*Yes, I know. ;)
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