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An Education

If you've ever been pregnant before, you know full well that, somehow, your pregnancy brings out the best and worst in total strangers.  As I've mentioned in previous posts, this isn't necessarily a result of people being malicious or anything, but sometimes they just say rude and thoughtless things.

Or they just plain weird you out.

Today was a normal day of lifting at the gym.  As I readied for a second set of pre-natal-wicked-she-man-iron-pumping, I removed my earbuds to readjust them.  The moment I popped them out of my ears, a sweet, little, old lady rocking a seven-and-a-half-pounder (I say this without sarcasm:  Good for her!!!) approached me and said some very kind things about my belly in comparison to the rest of my body.  After finishing our short conversation, I popped my earbuds back in and resumed my workout.

So far, so good.

No sooner had I stepped back to my bench when a squirrely man in his early-ish sixties approached me, pointed at my stomach and asked how much longer I had before the baby came.  The following conversation then took place:

Me:  (bracing myself for another comment about how huge I am and how that baby better not grow any more, blah blah blah) About two months.

Squirrely Guy:  Are you gonna breastfeed?

Me:  (What the *$%@???  Who is this nut?)  Um, I think so...

SG:  Oh, good!  Because let me tell you, when you breastfeed your baby, you are giving it 80% hydrogen peroxide which helps build immunity.

Me:  (Huh?) Well, they say it's good for everyone involved.

SG:  That's right!  There is this book called (insert title I forgot here) by (insert author I forgot here) that will tell you all about it.  You can even buy it in a bottle for (insert price I forgot here) at No Name grocers and it does great things for your health.

Me:  (smiling awkwardly as I wonder if he means you can buy hydrogen peroxide or breast milk, but too afraid to ask which one because I really don't want to know) Well, thanks for the tip!

I had to spend the rest of my lifting session trying not to erupt in boisterous laughter.  What a trip!  I cannot imagine going up to a male stranger to give him advice on his prostate -something he undoubtedly is more educated on than I ever could be- let alone making literary recommendations on the topic or referring him to a pharmacy where he can procure some kind of witchy brew that I clearly have been using myself.  Granted, he did look very healthy and fit for his age, but I'm not about to go out and buy breast milk for my own health benefits.

I do, however, have hydrogen peroxide in my medicine cabinet.

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