Ratatouille Sans Rats

I love the movie Ratatouille because it contains so many of my favorite things in life:  Disney charm, food, France, cooking, and, of course, rats.  (Yes, I find rats to be positively darling.  Shut up.  Just because you have bad taste doesn't mean you can shove it down other people's throats.)

However, despite the film's best efforts, so few people actually know what ratatouille (pronounced rah-tah-too-wee) is.  A traditional peasant dish from France, ratatouille is type of slow cooked vegetable stew.  This classic French favorite makes an excellent appetizer, side dish, or even a plat principal if you're craving a light(ish) or vegetarian option.  Furthermore, its versatility goes beyond when to serve it, as it can be enjoyed hot or cold, making it an excellent candidate for leftovers.  And guess what else:  It is super easy to make.  BONUS!

So grab an apron, draw on your most pretentious petite moustache and head to la cuisine!

Ratatouille

Serves:  12 French people or 3 Americans

(Adapted from French Women Don't Get Fat by Mireille Guiliano)

Ingredients:

Look at that zucchini!  Have you ever seen one that huge?
(That's what she said.)

• 3 pounds tomatoes
• 3 pounds zucchini
• 3 pounds eggplant
• 12 garlic cloves (or equivalent of minced garlic)
• 1 bunch of basil and/or oregano (or your favorite herbs)
• 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
• Salt and pepper to taste
• Freshly chopped basil (or other herb), for garnish

Mireille's Directions:

• Use an equal amount of tomatoes, zucchini, and eggplant.  Wash and cut into thick slices.
• Using a large stockpot, make layers, starting with the eggplant, and then the tomatoes, and finally the zucchini.  Repeat until the pot is filled almost to the brim.  Add some garlic cloves and parsley (or other herb) sprigs between the layers.  Season with salt and pepper.
• Cover and cook over very low heat until the vegetables are tender, approximately 2 to 2 1/2 hours.
• Let cool, and serve 20 minutes later.  Use soup bowls, since at this stage the ratatouille is more of a soup than a stew, with the liquid being mostly water from the veggies.  Correct the seasoning and add a dash of extra virgin olive oil and lots of freshly chopped parsley or basil or both.

For heaven's sake, don't even think of preparing this recipe without
first cleaning your veggies with your trusty veggie hog!

Anouchka's Directions:

• Cut it all up (Sliced, diced, who really cares?) and throw it in the crock pot.  (You may wish to add a splash of veggie stock to avoid over-drying the veggies.  The idea is to let the veggies cook in their own juices, but the extra liquid might help.)
• Cook on low until veggies are tender.  
• Use plenty of basil and/or oregano.
• Don't use parsley because it's disgusting.
• Drizzle with extra virgin olive oil if you think it needs it.
• I also think a few capers make a nice addition.

Although a true French chef may cringe at my lazy version, I don't care.  It still makes a damn good ratatouille...just a little bit uglier.

Another advantage to this recipe is that you can use the leftovers for other dishes.  Mireille suggests adding using them as an accompaniment to dead birds or other rotting corpses you might wish to consume.  For the third (and final?) usage, she recommends using the leftover ratatouille as pizza toppings.  YUMMY!

Tada!  You've successfully prepared a French classic, minus all the muss, fuss, and intimidation of snooty chefs!  Félicitations!

Now pour yourself a glass of your favorite vin français, grab a nice crusty baguette and bowl of your delicious creation and enjoy a Disney treasure!