The automatic toilet keeps flushing while I'm still sitting on it, showering my ass with my own urine. Then, when I get up, it won't flush and I have to risk contracting something vile by manually flushing.
Habibi and I are not at all fanciful. In fact, every time I try to do something cute (and/or Pinterest-y), I end up frustrated and with egg on my face. So, we've just decided to embrace our straightforward, blunt way of doing things. To give you an idea of how we roll, let me tell you a little bit about our life journey together... On our second date, I told Habibi that I really wasn't interested in ever getting married. Sure I like liked him ("like liking" would soon change to love), but it just wasn't something I planned for my future. Seven months later when he proposed (see how that went for me?), I simply said yes. There was no video, no fireworks, no wild story, no pictures. He told me to close my eyes (I insisted on sitting on the floor if I had to close my eyes because I was afraid he'd push me on the ground) and when I opened them, there he was, on one knee, holding a ring. Afterwards, we kissed and he told me I had co...
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