Dear (singular) Reader,
I've been meaning to write all month. In fact, it has been my goal to write a post once a month, but August just slipped by, almost unnoticed. I have been so busy planning the Fall Session of French classes for work, getting ready for that damn gala (a success, BTW...I looked sufficiently mediocre, but I ate with enthusiasm.), and -biggest news of all- prepping my precious Chicky for her first day of pre-school.
I am delighted to inform you all that she absolutely loves school. As far as I can tell at this point, she is doing well and behaving like a normal three-year-old. Like her mother, she is pure Alpha, but I'm hoping that being around other children and adults (without her parents) will gently ease her into choosing her battles and emotionally maturing. You know, the way I so obviously have.
Full disclosure: Even though she is the one attending school, I feel like I'm the one doing all the learning. For instance...
Did you know that all pre-school moms are hipsters? Yeah, they drop off their kids for school and they (the moms) are dressed very nicely, all trendy and that. They name their kids things like Treebranch and Gluten-Free-Cupcake, and they have wrist tattoos and Coexist bumper stickers. I learned quickly that I am going to have to make friends with the dads, since they are the only ones wearing gym shorts and are as hairy as me. Solution? Buy your kids organic graham crackers. It will make you a superior parent.
Day drinking is perfectly acceptable, especially after the school's director has to help you carry your children out to the car while one of them throws an epic tantrum because there are no art projects to take home. Life adjustments are no reason not to party solo.
Praise the good Lord for your daughter's teacher who has the foresight to ensure that your precious little tyrant has something to bring home in her backpack at the end of the next school day.
Develop a mantra. This is my personal favorite:
Schedule a hair appointment for yourself. You are going to need a dye job to cover all of those new grays.
Coffee. Lots of it. Also naps.
And ultimately...
Don't stress. Seriously. By the time Chicky's first day rolled around, we were all ready. Sure, I had tearful moments (read: days) earlier this summer when I thought about this major milestone, but I got it all out of my system before she actually started. It's true that nothing will ever be the same again, now that she has started school...but it was time for her to spread her little wings and experience life things that I cannot personally provide for her. She loves it. She loves her teachers. Her antics don't shock them (thank God!) because this ain't their first rodeo. Honestly, how else is Mussolini supposed to terrorize the masses if she doesn't start somewhere?
As I got Chicky ready for her first day, I couldn't shake Billy Madison singing Back to School out of my head. I got her backpack packed up, her shoes tied tight (OK, they were slip-ons), and hoped she would not get in a fight. (Ohhhhhhhhh....!!!!)
Sorry. I couldn't resist all that. But for real, the day has come, and I'm excited for her and the fun she will have this year. Who knows? Maybe I'll even learn a little more with her along the way.
I've been meaning to write all month. In fact, it has been my goal to write a post once a month, but August just slipped by, almost unnoticed. I have been so busy planning the Fall Session of French classes for work, getting ready for that damn gala (a success, BTW...I looked sufficiently mediocre, but I ate with enthusiasm.), and -biggest news of all- prepping my precious Chicky for her first day of pre-school.
I am delighted to inform you all that she absolutely loves school. As far as I can tell at this point, she is doing well and behaving like a normal three-year-old. Like her mother, she is pure Alpha, but I'm hoping that being around other children and adults (without her parents) will gently ease her into choosing her battles and emotionally maturing. You know, the way I so obviously have.
Full disclosure: Even though she is the one attending school, I feel like I'm the one doing all the learning. For instance...
Did you know that all pre-school moms are hipsters? Yeah, they drop off their kids for school and they (the moms) are dressed very nicely, all trendy and that. They name their kids things like Treebranch and Gluten-Free-Cupcake, and they have wrist tattoos and Coexist bumper stickers. I learned quickly that I am going to have to make friends with the dads, since they are the only ones wearing gym shorts and are as hairy as me. Solution? Buy your kids organic graham crackers. It will make you a superior parent.
Day drinking is perfectly acceptable, especially after the school's director has to help you carry your children out to the car while one of them throws an epic tantrum because there are no art projects to take home. Life adjustments are no reason not to party solo.
Praise the good Lord for your daughter's teacher who has the foresight to ensure that your precious little tyrant has something to bring home in her backpack at the end of the next school day.
Develop a mantra. This is my personal favorite:
Schedule a hair appointment for yourself. You are going to need a dye job to cover all of those new grays.
Coffee. Lots of it. Also naps.
And ultimately...
Don't stress. Seriously. By the time Chicky's first day rolled around, we were all ready. Sure, I had tearful moments (read: days) earlier this summer when I thought about this major milestone, but I got it all out of my system before she actually started. It's true that nothing will ever be the same again, now that she has started school...but it was time for her to spread her little wings and experience life things that I cannot personally provide for her. She loves it. She loves her teachers. Her antics don't shock them (thank God!) because this ain't their first rodeo. Honestly, how else is Mussolini supposed to terrorize the masses if she doesn't start somewhere?
As I got Chicky ready for her first day, I couldn't shake Billy Madison singing Back to School out of my head. I got her backpack packed up, her shoes tied tight (OK, they were slip-ons), and hoped she would not get in a fight. (Ohhhhhhhhh....!!!!)
Sorry. I couldn't resist all that. But for real, the day has come, and I'm excited for her and the fun she will have this year. Who knows? Maybe I'll even learn a little more with her along the way.
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