Summer is drawing to a close and, along with it, so is my second trimester. I am delighted to say that during the past three months, I have enjoyed (relative) comfort and a renewal of energy. Granted, I still have some common pregnancy complaints, but the symptoms of this trimester pale in comparison to the violent mayhem of its predecessor.
Ever since Habibi and I went public in late June, people began offering unsolicited advice. Some of this advice is valuable and appreciated, but most of the time, I'm just tired of talking about being pregnant because I'm tired of being pregnant. With just over three months left in this game, the days can't pass by quickly enough. Fall is my favorite season of the year but, at this point, I am ready for a frost...
...because a frost means that Baby Hulk/Annyong will be here soon. (Due date: December 27!!!)
It seems that I am one of the few women on earth who doesn't "just love" this "magical" state of being. (I will never understand those of you who get warm fuzzies with this nonsense, but more power to you, I guess.) I have no doubt in my mind that I will love my baby fiercely (test me on this and you'll lose) and will be the best Ummi I can possibly be, but that doesn't change the fact that I hate, hate, HATE being pregnant. While the list of physical complaints is insurmountable, I have a few other grievances to air and, since this is my blog, I am going to do so.
Now that I have more or less "popped" (I loathe that term), people have felt the need to comment on my appearance. Some people have been very kind and flattering (thank you, to all of you wonderful souls for your thoughtful words!), while others leave me wondering how on earth they managed to tie their shoes that morning. I understand that none of these comments are intended to be mean, but this doesn't change the fact that they are unacceptable - particularly when they come from total strangers.
I have chosen to focus all of my energies on the positive comments that, quite honestly, make my whole day. However, even if you have never been pregnant, perhaps you will benefit from the lists below. In the spirit of the Animaniacs short cartoons, Good Idea/Bad Idea, please let me share a few of my own Good Idea/Bad Idea comments with you.
GOOD IDEA
"Oh. My. Gosh. You are the cutest pregnant woman I have ever seen! You [directed at Habibi] are really lucky." -Total stranger at Target, when Habibi and I were working on our baby registry. She passed by our aisle once, stopped, then came back and said this. I floated out of the store because it made me feel so good.
"Your shoulders look great!" -A dear friend and mother of two
"I couldn't tell you were pregnant from behind!" -A stranger who passed me on my jogging path
"You are so beautiful. You look beautiful pregnant." -A stranger/trainer at my gym
"Well, you do. You're glowing." -My mom, after I told her about the previous comment
"Oh my gosh, you have freckles! [Big smile] I never noticed them before!" -My mom, after the freckles on my face began darkening as a result of hormone changes. I like this one because for years, I have been the only person able to identify the very faint freckles on my face. I love them.
"I see you in here sometimes - good for you! Were you a runner before? You have the body." -A stranger in the locker room at my gym
"We're going to have to start calling you 'The Perfect Form' because your form is perfect!" -A stranger in the weight room at my gym, when I was lifting lighter weights due to my belly
"You look just adorable." -A stranger in my husband's hometown
"Oh my gosh, you're so cute! And it's ALL baby!" - A stranger in my husband's hometown
"You're still so tiny!" -A reaction from a friend at our church who hadn't seen us in a few weeks. I wasn't feeling tiny, so this filled me with warm fuzzies.
BAD IDEA
(NOTE: These are all comments that I have actually received. None of them have been fabricated, despite how unbelievable they may be. While I have no problem with people thinking these things, it is entirely unacceptable for them to verbalize them.)
"Man, you've really POPPED!" -Innumerable people I know...
"How far along are you?" [I respond, and get one of the following reactions.]
"Hi, Chubby." -A relative, to whom I responded: "I'm pregnant. What's your excuse?"
"Hi, Chubby. Pretty soon it'll have to be 'Hi, Fatso.'" -Same relative as above, to whom I responded: "Do you have autism, or are you just completely lacking in social skills?"
"Are you sure it isn't twins? Because you're really getting up there." -A total stranger from my husband's hometown
I loved compiling the first list, because it allowed me to reflect on all of the positive, kind remarks that people have made, and it is on this list that I have chosen to dwell. There truly is nothing like a compliment from a total stranger - you know it's sincere because they are going out of their way to make it. As for the second list, I wish I was making these up, but alas, there are tactless people out there who make comments like these thinking that they are being funny or...well frankly, I have no idea what the hell is going on in their brains when they say these things. Anyway, we can't change them, but we can choose how we react to their thoughtlessness.
For those of you who have been or are currently pregnant: Hang in there and focus on all the kind things people say. You are a beautiful being created by God in His own image; He is now using you to create another life. (I know, total cliche. I'm saying this for myself as much as anyone else out there.)
For those of you who speak positive words to the moms-to-be that you see: Thank you. You cannot begin to know the impact that your words have on a perhaps self-conscious woman who might be doing this alone, or who might just need to hear from someone that she isn't a disgusting, bloated blob.
For those of you in the only remaining category: Please shut up. Your silence is music to the ears of the intelligent creatures who surround you.
Ever since Habibi and I went public in late June, people began offering unsolicited advice. Some of this advice is valuable and appreciated, but most of the time, I'm just tired of talking about being pregnant because I'm tired of being pregnant. With just over three months left in this game, the days can't pass by quickly enough. Fall is my favorite season of the year but, at this point, I am ready for a frost...
...because a frost means that Baby Hulk/Annyong will be here soon. (Due date: December 27!!!)
It seems that I am one of the few women on earth who doesn't "just love" this "magical" state of being. (I will never understand those of you who get warm fuzzies with this nonsense, but more power to you, I guess.) I have no doubt in my mind that I will love my baby fiercely (test me on this and you'll lose) and will be the best Ummi I can possibly be, but that doesn't change the fact that I hate, hate, HATE being pregnant. While the list of physical complaints is insurmountable, I have a few other grievances to air and, since this is my blog, I am going to do so.
Now that I have more or less "popped" (I loathe that term), people have felt the need to comment on my appearance. Some people have been very kind and flattering (thank you, to all of you wonderful souls for your thoughtful words!), while others leave me wondering how on earth they managed to tie their shoes that morning. I understand that none of these comments are intended to be mean, but this doesn't change the fact that they are unacceptable - particularly when they come from total strangers.
I have chosen to focus all of my energies on the positive comments that, quite honestly, make my whole day. However, even if you have never been pregnant, perhaps you will benefit from the lists below. In the spirit of the Animaniacs short cartoons, Good Idea/Bad Idea, please let me share a few of my own Good Idea/Bad Idea comments with you.
oOo
GOOD IDEA/BAD IDEA
A list of things to say -and NOT to say- to a pregnant woman
GOOD IDEA
"Oh. My. Gosh. You are the cutest pregnant woman I have ever seen! You [directed at Habibi] are really lucky." -Total stranger at Target, when Habibi and I were working on our baby registry. She passed by our aisle once, stopped, then came back and said this. I floated out of the store because it made me feel so good.
"Your shoulders look great!" -A dear friend and mother of two
"I couldn't tell you were pregnant from behind!" -A stranger who passed me on my jogging path
"You are so beautiful. You look beautiful pregnant." -A stranger/trainer at my gym
"Well, you do. You're glowing." -My mom, after I told her about the previous comment
"Oh my gosh, you have freckles! [Big smile] I never noticed them before!" -My mom, after the freckles on my face began darkening as a result of hormone changes. I like this one because for years, I have been the only person able to identify the very faint freckles on my face. I love them.
"I see you in here sometimes - good for you! Were you a runner before? You have the body." -A stranger in the locker room at my gym
"We're going to have to start calling you 'The Perfect Form' because your form is perfect!" -A stranger in the weight room at my gym, when I was lifting lighter weights due to my belly
"You look just adorable." -A stranger in my husband's hometown
"Oh my gosh, you're so cute! And it's ALL baby!" - A stranger in my husband's hometown
"You're still so tiny!" -A reaction from a friend at our church who hadn't seen us in a few weeks. I wasn't feeling tiny, so this filled me with warm fuzzies.
BAD IDEA
(NOTE: These are all comments that I have actually received. None of them have been fabricated, despite how unbelievable they may be. While I have no problem with people thinking these things, it is entirely unacceptable for them to verbalize them.)
"Man, you've really POPPED!" -Innumerable people I know...
"How far along are you?" [I respond, and get one of the following reactions.]
- [Wide-eyed stare at my belly] "Wow! That's a long time left!"
- "That's it? But you're so BIIIIIIG!!!"
- "Oh really? Well it must be because you're so [insert back-pedaling compliment here]."
-Countless strangers and acquaintances
"Hi, Chubby." -A relative, to whom I responded: "I'm pregnant. What's your excuse?"
"Hi, Chubby. Pretty soon it'll have to be 'Hi, Fatso.'" -Same relative as above, to whom I responded: "Do you have autism, or are you just completely lacking in social skills?"
"Are you sure it isn't twins? Because you're really getting up there." -A total stranger from my husband's hometown
oOo
I loved compiling the first list, because it allowed me to reflect on all of the positive, kind remarks that people have made, and it is on this list that I have chosen to dwell. There truly is nothing like a compliment from a total stranger - you know it's sincere because they are going out of their way to make it. As for the second list, I wish I was making these up, but alas, there are tactless people out there who make comments like these thinking that they are being funny or...well frankly, I have no idea what the hell is going on in their brains when they say these things. Anyway, we can't change them, but we can choose how we react to their thoughtlessness.
For those of you who have been or are currently pregnant: Hang in there and focus on all the kind things people say. You are a beautiful being created by God in His own image; He is now using you to create another life. (I know, total cliche. I'm saying this for myself as much as anyone else out there.)
For those of you who speak positive words to the moms-to-be that you see: Thank you. You cannot begin to know the impact that your words have on a perhaps self-conscious woman who might be doing this alone, or who might just need to hear from someone that she isn't a disgusting, bloated blob.
For those of you in the only remaining category: Please shut up. Your silence is music to the ears of the intelligent creatures who surround you.
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