The Token Baby Post

Well, there's no escaping it.  The first generation of Facebookers is procreating and it's all the rage to post pictures of your baby.  Let's face facts:  If you haven't posted 9,000 pictures of your child on each of your social media accounts, you are a terrible parent.

However, this baby takeover has not come without backlash:  Childless patrons of Facebook, Twitter and the like have spoken out about how annoying it is to see their news feeds bogged down with images of Riheleiygh or Stevfphahn (or whatever weird spelling their friends have adopted for their children's otherwise normal names).  I just heard on the radio last week that there are downloadable computer programs out there that will substitute pictures of dogs and cats whenever a picture of your friend's baby pops up.  Kind of nasty...but hilarious.

Toddlers (and every move they make) are now dominating social media networks.  And why wouldn't they?  It's what people are talking about now in this current generation, isn't it?  It only makes sense that we would post what interests us.  And what good first-time parent isn't fascinated by his/her baby?  I'm sure I will be no different when my day comes.  But in the meantime, the childless Millennials are -somewhat justifiably- "so over this."  It's a difficult call, because how many of us married folks swore up and down that we would never become "smug marrieds" or "we" people?  I know I did, and yet here I (we) am (are)....  So, I suppose it's just a matter of time (9 months, to be exact) before the intentionally barren start posting baby pictures as well.

Habibi and I don't have kids.  I personally don't really mind all of the pictures I see of my friends' babies on Facebook (in some cases, that is the only way I see their kids!), but I can appreciate the backlash as well.  So, to bring both sides together for a common moment of awe and amazement, I am dedicating this post to my baby.

Just because our "child" isn't a bald biped doesn't mean I can't rave about her.

This is Betty.  Betty came to live with us in mid-January of this year.  She was born in 2006 when she was apparently brought to live at the local Humane Society as a kitten.  She was then fixed, microchipped and adopted.  Five years later, she was brought back to the Humane Society and her previous owners (assholes) never came to claim her.

Later that year, some friends of ours adopted her and brought her home to live with them and their two children.  Unfortunately, everyone had an allergic reaction to Betty, despite the fact that they had previously owned two cats (who had since gone to the Great Litter Box in the Sky).  They had no choice but to find someone to take Betty, or return her to the Humane Society - a traumatic experience for all who would be involved.

Luckily enough, Habibi and I were looking to adopt a cat at that precise time.  In the end, Betty moved in with us and she has been a joy in our lives ever since!

Since I'm on a roll already, I thought I would share a little bit about Betty with all of you.  Here are a few of her likes and dislikes:

Betty likes...

Clocks (I love Flav and I suspect she does too...)

Getting her ass swooped by Ummi or Dad

The sink

Laying on her back and showing off her lady parts

Hanging out in Dad's tool bag

The sink

Attacking, pouncing and biting (necessitating the glove)

Flirting

Scratching the carpet (hence the foil "rug")

Her toys (especially the ones she can bat under the stove)

Destroying Ummi's stuff (i.e. her buki brush)

Being lazy

Being a helper
(She is the WORST personal assistant ever.
She won't return calls, answer emails or run errands.
If she weren't so damn cute, I'd fire her.)

Did we mention the sink?

Much like her Ummi (me, if you haven't figured that out), Betty has a hard time making up her mind sometimes.  She truly understands the fine line that makes the distinction between love and hate.  (In other words, she usually loves us, but we don't call her Miss Hateful for no reason.)

Betty dislikes...

The vacuum cleaner, plastic bags, tissue paper...oh, and also, everything.

So there it is, my baby and all of her amazing talents, skills, preferences and pure awesomeness.  You can roll your eyes all you want, but before you start gagging, ask yourself this:  

Do you prefer pot or kettle?