How to Write a Blog Post

Over the course of the past 11 months that I have been blogging, it has come to my attention that writing a blog post takes much more than just sitting in front of the computer and typing.  (No duh.)  It takes ample consideration, reflection and -as is always the case with Anouchka Talks- infinite wisdom.

Instead of writing a typical blog post, I thought it would be somewhat appropriate to take you, step-by-step through my creative(ish) process:

STEP 1:  Go for a long run (preferably a 4 mile minimum to get the juices flowing), take a shower or a crap.

I typically get my best ideas while doing something mindless:  running, showering, taking a dump....  When ideas come to me, they rarely begin as abstract concepts as I am a rather literal (albeit, insane) person.  The words I use on my blog are almost always the exact words that enter my mind, verbatim.  I think the way I write, even down to the punctuation.  (Whether or not said punctuation is correct is a post for another day...hopefully in the distant future or even never.)  Most of the time, a word, phrase, sentence or even paragraph is planted in my brain and the posts you see are the mutant flowers that spring forth.

STEP 2:  Neglect all other obligations until the post is completed to satisfaction.

Too often, an idea hits me and -before I'm awarded the opportunity to express it clearly- it's lost.  For this reason, I often blog immediately after being stricken.  I don't always publish the posts right away, but they are written and "on deck" for a later time when I have writer's block.  Unfortunately, this means that my apartment is frequently in disarray, an accurate reflection of my brain.  This also means that Habibi is, by necessity, a saint.  I think he's used to the manner in which I operate, but it doesn't make any less admirable that he's still putting up with it and still pretending to like me.

STEP 3:  Turn on the computer.

I hate computers so the fact that I blog is somewhat of an enigma.  I wish I could blog without a computer, but I have yet to figure out how that works.

STEP 4:  Enlist the hired help.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, I need not elaborate.

PS - After biting my hand when I tried to hit the "end" key, Betty felt you needed to know this (by laying her head on the keyboard):  "555555555555555"

STEP 5:  Proofread.

Plain and simple:  Check for errors, desired wording/formatting make sure pictures are uploaded.  Publish or save post (for a later publishing date).

STEP 6:  Get a snack!

Happy blogging, everyone!