Skip to main content

Hmph


I got some bad news today:  my gym is cutting my Thursday morning kickboxing class.  BOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, I am so bummed!  This is the only class that I have been able to attend faithfully (whereas others are sometimes hit or miss) for the past YEAR!  The instructor even knows my name!  Yet just like that, they pull it out from under my feet to replace it with yet another cycling class.  (Is there no justice in the world?)  I call those “Pain in the Ass Class” because that is literally what it is.  I actually had a lady -who was NOT the instructor- come up to me once at the end of a cycling class and lecture me on why my bike wasn’t set up properly.  I wanted to tell her that my seat was set low because I didn’t want to get an enema, but shoot, what did I know?  I’m just a kickboxer.

Please excuse me while I go scratch my bug bites from Tuesday night.

OK, I’m back.  Now where was I?  Oh yes…

Come on!  Why do we need another spin class?  Don’t those people know that their bikes aren’t actually moving?  Do we really need to encourage the insanity?  I swear, it’s like watching a dog trying to get a treat hanging on a treadmill. 

Hang on.  Gotta go apply my new perfume:  After Bite.

Yow!  That stings!  Anyway, as I was saying…

Sorry.  I’m getting emotional.  It’s time to be rational, so let’s work through this logically:  If you were managing a gym and had to cancel a class, would you take one from (A) the kickboxers who could knee-strike-round-house-clockwork-hitch-kick your face in or from (B) the cyclists who might be pissed (that is, if you can get their attention off the unattainable biscuit), but as fast as they might ride their bikes, they will never catch up to you?  

Dammit!  That bite on the back of my knee is making me crazy!  
It's so hard to apply After Bite when you can't reach the bug bite to begin with! 
 Man!  Now it's running down my leg and it looks like I just peed my pants.

I think I know which one makes more sense.  I’m thinking of the manager’s safety, you know.  Just sayin’.

I don’t want to be melodramatic, but WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

I’m so tired.  When is nap time?  Who wants to buy me a coffee?

Comments

  1. Hahahaha. Not a fan of cycling either. And kickboxing, for me, makes more sense as an exercise regimen.

    Fickle Cattle
    http://ficklecattle.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Comment if you wish. Or don't.

Popular posts from this blog

Navigating Summer, School, and COVID-19

Guys, it has been awhile.  What can I say?  I just haven't been feeling inspired.  I know, I know...  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to discover that I am almost never  inspired; you can find evidence of this conclusion by reading any one of my past posts.  Seriously, just pick one.  But really, it has been busy around here.  Since March, we have been homeschooling both kids.  Part of this was mandated, of course, when everything shut down earlier this year.  However, since we were having growing success with taking charge of our kids' education this spring, we decided to run with it and continued with certain elements of school through the summer.  We will be full on homeschooling for the coming year because our public education system has turned into an absolute cluster.  This is going to be such a throwaway year anyway, so yeah.  We're "those people" now.   Who knows?  Maybe this year, my daughter has...

Brain Barf #4: Senior Citizens, Italian-Americans, Dreamboats, and Tap Shoes

My neighbor sent me this last night: In five years, J.Lo will be getting discounts at restaurants and movie theaters because she will be considered a senior citizen.  And she will still look like that.   YOU GUYS I SAID J.LO IS ALMOST A SENIOR CITIZEN.  SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE NOT EVEN LISTENING. Meanwhile, I look more and more like this every day: My friend MoMo was invited to play pool with a friend of hers today.  She told me about it, which is free license for me to post it here. MoMo (and her friend): Anouchka: In her friend's defense, he has only been in the U.S. for about 18 months and apparently thought that an "Italian-American" would be a rare and exotic treat. I'm been pestering Habibi lately to spoil me and praise me and tell me I'm a rare and divine treasure more often, but it hasn't been working.  I'll send him text messages periodically, featuring my face,  looking putrid fr...